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As parents, we try to educate our children in the best possible way. There is no exact manual and often we make mistakes. Some of them affect the self-esteem and personality of our children, such as constantly comparing them with others, recognizing their mistakes over their successes or humiliating them with disqualifications.
But other mistakes directly affect the child's behavior. We explain how to reverse parental mistakes that affect children's behavior.
There is no exact science when it comes to raising children. And the most normal thing is that as parents, we make a mistake. All these errors directly affect conduct or behavior of the children. Many are related to a problem when it comes to setting rules and limits. Pay attention, because we explain what they are and how to reverse it:
1. Try to make them happy all the time. Of course, nothing makes us happier than putting everything they want at their fingertips and pleasing them in everything, but life is not like that, from a young age they must learn to strive for what they want and to face situations and things that they do not like. Solution? It is they who must adapt to the world, and not the world to them.
2. Set a bad example. Let us remember that we are the most important reference for our children. If we show them a bad example, they will copy it. Sometimes we do it without realizing it.Solution? All that behavior that we want them to show must always be modeled by us.
3. Lack of congruence between mom and dad (One sets the limit and the other disqualifies it or simply ignores it). It is one of the most frequent mistakes and that generates the greatest lack of control in children. Solution? It is important to reach agreements on essential issues and never disqualify the other in front of the child.
4. Lack of consistency in the demands to follow the rules. Due to fatigue or the parents' mood, we are sometimes too soft or sometimes too strict about the same rule. Solution? It is important to always react the same if we want to convey the correct message to them.
5. Not keeping the word. Whether it is a question of applying a consequence, giving an acknowledgment or simply fulfilling a promise, it is essential to fulfill what we promise, otherwise we will lose all credibility with them. Solution? Always remember to keep what you promise. Therefore, think carefully about what you promise your child.
6. Wanting to negotiate everything. Many parents allow their children to negotiate absolutely everything, even the basic rules. The only thing this does is that the child acquires a leading role and feels like 'the king' of the house.Solution? It is important to give them the opportunity to negotiate and decide on certain aspects, but they must be clear that certain rules are not negotiable.
7. Not knowing how to choose our battles. When we constantly argue with our children, absolutely everything, or yell at them too often, children 'lose' notion of what is more important than what is not. In the end, this generates a coexistence in constant conflict. Solution? Sometimes we must choose which topics are truly relevant to start a wake-up call, but if we are regulating them all the time and drawing attention, we will only manage to generate resentment and negativity in them.
8. Do not give them responsibilities from a young age. Overprotective parents avoid offering duties and responsibilities to their children, thinking that they are doing them a great favor. What they do, however, is delay the development of their autonomy and raise wealthy and fearful children.Solution? Children, even very young children, should be assigned tasks or responsibilities that make them feel special and necessary and that help them develop the need to cooperate and participate in the housework.
All the successes and mistakes that we make have an impact on the way in which our children connect with themselves and with the world that surrounds them and will largely define the human beings they will be; The good news is that if we are open to accepting that we commit some of them, we can always stop, change direction and with a lot of good will take them to the destination we want ...
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