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How many times a day do we tell our children what they should or should not do? How many times do we tell them: don't touch that, get down from there, be still ...? How many times, out of our own fear, do we limit their exploration?
In Guiainfantil.com We propose to educate children from responsible autonomy, which is summarized in this motto: free children, happy children.
Remember that fear is an emotion that warns us of the lack of resources in the face of a danger, be it real or imaginary. But it is that when my daughter climbs to a chair, I must trust that she has more resources than I think, and instead of saying “daughter, you are going to fall”, I can say “daughter, hold on tight”.
A few months ago, I was lucky enough to listen to Teresa Palacios, a woman I admire, an expert in Family Education and Educational Coach, in training at the GSD Las Suertes Family School, an educational center in Madrid. His presentation began with a title similar to that of my article that, with his permission, I have copied: Free children, happy children. And I could not find better words to talk about how important autonomy is in boys and girls.
By autonomy, in a summarized and simple way, we understand the ability of a person to act independently of others. Therefore, how good it is to be able to train our sons and daughters in that freedom from a responsible autonomy: either brushing their teeth or being able to choose, in some moments, their own decisions.
All abilities, like emotional intelligence that I have already mentioned in other articles, can be trainable. Keep in mind that autonomy raises the child's self-esteem, because he is aware that he can do it alone, that he is capable of doing it independently.
Here are some tips and clues to promote the different types of autonomy:
1- Physical autonomy: refers to everything that our daughter or son can do alone based on their age, environment, abilities ... Our motto should be "if you can do it alone, do it". It is our task, to facilitate that autonomy, for example, putting the hangers at their height, plates and glasses in lower cabinets, simple storage boxes for toys ...
2- Emotional or affective autonomy: value and recognize their tastes, consider them valid. Let them know unique, because they really are. Give them confidence, not so much by telling them, but because they perceive that we let them do things independently.
3- Autonomy in thought: give them opportunities to think and reflect, to expand their fields of vision beyond their own "I". For example, we can ask them questions such as Why do you think your friend is like this? What would you have done? Remember, it is very important to speak to them at their height, at their real height.
Lastly, don't forget:
- That it is important to be faithful in commitments: whether it's setting the table on Tuesdays and Thursdays, for example, or attending a birthday party, to which you got engaged, even if you feel lazy at the last minute.
- What, if she can dress alone or aloneThat is how it should be, which will mean setting the alarm a little earlier, for example.
- What freedom trains.
- That it is necessary to offer them opportunities so that they can make appropriate decisions at your level and context.
- And patience, much much patience. It is not impossible, but sometimes it is tiring.
As always, from respect, love and acceptance of abilities, not limitations of my son or daughter.
You can read more articles similar to Free children, happy children, in the category of on-site autonomy.